Reinvent for Retirement Lesson #4: Let Go to Move Forward

Until this past weekend, a large evergreen graced the front of our home.. We planted that tree shortly after we moved in and enjoyed it for many years. But over time, the tree grew too big for that spot and needed to be cut down.

Yet, making the decision to remove the tree was surprisingly hard. Silly as it sounds, after years of seeing the tree each time we entered and exited the house, the idea of chopping it down felt wrong..It might have been just a tree, but it was our tree – we had planted it – and it was a part of our home. That tree had grown-up with our kids.

Alas, once the tree started to visibly die, we were left with no choice but to remove it.  Predictably we all felt sad the day the tree got chopped down. But you know what? As soon as it was gone, we couldn’t help but notice that the garden looked healthier than it had in years. We laughed as we both said, “Why did we wait so long to get rid of that tree?”

Letting go of the familiar is never easy. I watch my clients struggle with this all the time. They know it is a time to make a change, but they prefer to cling to the devil-they-know instead of embracing the uncertainties of the unknown.  They plod along, bored and disengaged, until they feel forced to make a change. Yet once they are “forced” to change, and a new beginning fills the void, the end result is almost always positive. As William Bridges writes in his landmark book, Transitions:

“Throughout nature, growth involves periodic accelerations and transformations: Things go slowly for a time and nothing seems to change – until suddenly the eggshell cracks, the branch blossoms, the tadpole’s tail shrinks away, the leaf falls, the bird molts, the hibernation begins. With us it is the same. Although the signs are less clear than in the world of feather and leaf, the functions of transition times are the same.  They are key times in the natural process of self-renewal.”

So, the next time you fear change, remember that letting-go is a natural and neccessary part of the transitiono process. And trust that with time, the pain of releasing the old will be replaced with new and welcome opportunities.